he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you will always have a special place in my vag
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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