oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
