I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
