Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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