Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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