Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
