I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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