Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
