Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Damn victory sex feels great
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize