also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
