I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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