Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it was like eating out sand paper
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
