I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
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I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
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It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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