so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
