Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
