Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
