what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
