he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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