i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
