Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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