his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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