Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
