I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize