These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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