I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
