Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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