You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think your dad took our porno
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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