he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I party with great urgency now.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
