Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
