I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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