Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i now understand why vodka
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
