I am puke
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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