He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
