Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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