The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
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Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
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As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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