So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
