In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
