do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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