Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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