Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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