Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Less talking, more tequila
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
