this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
