before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
