Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
