but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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