I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
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Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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