I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
wow bdsm is so cute
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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