I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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