mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sext me about skeletons
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize