I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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