i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
