my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
