Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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