so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Someone came in the potted fern
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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