Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
