if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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