A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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