I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
