Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
