She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
