I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
