Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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